A Week in Asgard
by jazzybizzle
Summary: The Avengers take a trip to Asgard! Steve finds himself in embarrassing situations, Tony likes to touch stuff, Natasha makes a new raven-haired friend, Bruce is in love with the library, Thor is his big and bubbly self, and Clint may or may not have a crush. Wait, what? R&R! [:
1. Day 1

**Thor takes his fellow teammates to Asgard! I've read one oneshot and I decided to do my own (which I think sucks, compared to all of the amazing writers out there). There will be hints of my favorite ships, as well as a new one that I'll be trying out, so look out for that!**

** This should be fun ;]**

* * *

"Whoa...nice digs," commented Clint.

"Can I fit all of this in my bathroom?" Tony pointed, making a square shape with his fingers in the air.

"No," Steve protested, already embarrassed.

Thor smiled, leading the way down the Bifrost. "Friends, welcome to Asgard!"

It was amazing, really. From the breaktaking scenery to the kingdom that they were about to enter, the Avengers were, if not, speechless at many points as they took in their surroundings. And for the first time Natasha's eyes were lit up, like a child on Christmas; it brought a smile to Steve's face.

"Are you sure it's alright for us to be here?" said Bruce.

"_Bruce_," Tony and Clint muttered under their breath.

"Don't ruin it," Tony added, and Bruce sighed.

"Doctor Banner has a point," said Steve. "Thor, you've told us that even your father was wary of Miss Foster being here. I don't think all of us here will be any better..."

"Fear not, Lord Steven," said Thor. "Lady Jane and Lady Darcy are here as well. They arrived just two Midgard days prior. As long as you are deferential and conscientious, harm shall not come to you."

"Harm?" Clint repeated.

"Maybe we should've left these two at home," said Bruce, jerking his head in Tony and Clint's direction, and every Avenger laughed.

Except for Clint and Tony.

.

Jane was waiting for them at the entrance corridors; she looked stunning in her Asgardian dress and cape. Thor greeted her with a kiss and she took his offered arm.

"Aw, no fair!" Tony whined. "Don't we get cool capes too? Can mine come in gold?"

Jane looked up at Thor. "Told you."

Thor chuckled, patting her hand. "Indeed, you did." He turned to his team. "Come, friends! Let us venture! I have much to show you all."

The god led them down numerous hallways and corridors that none of them would remember later; they soon reached the library, which he mentioned that it would be a place that Bruce and even Tony might like.

But when they entered the room, the Avengers gave a start when they realized who was standing in one of the aisles with Darcy Lewis. The curly headed brunette was reading a book, wearing her own Asgardian garb, including a cape of her own (which Tony thought was really unfair). Watching her read, as well as reaching for something above her head, was none other than-

"Hey, guys!" Darcy said casually, as if she wasn't bothered by the fact that the God of Mischief was standing right behind her. "'Bout time you got here."

"Enjoying a good read, brother?" Thor asked, he and Jane still wary of the budding friendship between his brother and her best friend. Loki's return had been a nasty shock, for Thor had to return to Asgard for another month; as much as he claimed against it, Jane made him take her with her. And since Darcy had been jealous of being left behind all the time...

No one trusted Loki, that was for sure. But since he hasn't attempted to harm Darcy or Jane, Thor was a bit more relaxed about it. The Avengers were aware of the possibly "redeemed" Loki, but not one wanted to say how they truly felt about the god who tried to enslave the Earth.

"Indeed," said Loki with that smile of his.

Thor looked over at Bruce and Tony. "Our library is always open for your personal enjoyment. I hope you find an endearing read during your time here."

Natasha was still glaring at Loki; if looks could kill, Loki would've been a bloody mess on the floor.

"Whyyyy don't _I_..." Jane reached over and grabbed Natasha by the wrist, "show you your room?" she suggested, breaking the ice. She looked over her shoulder, "C'mon, Darce!"

"Aww, but I wanna see-!"

"Darcy, let's _go," _Jane repeated darkly.

"Ugh, _fine!_" She shoved the book into Loki's arms, Loki appearing unfazed by it, and walked out of the room with the two women. Steve absentmindedly watched Natasha leave; he'll have to talk to her later.

"I know this is rude and all, but let's make like a banana and split," said Tony. "You got any bathrooms around here? Do gods even need to pee?"

"Dude's got a point," Clint said with squinted eyes.

"I will show you to your sleeping quarters momentarily," said Thor reassuringly.

"Okay good," said Tony. "'Cause I don't wanna piss all over this clean floor. Or any other floor around here."

.

Steve felt strange; wearing something that Thor would wear was beyond him. He had never thought he'd see the day.

Ever single one of his male teammates stepped out in their Asgardian clothing, all looking similar but different. Similar in the clothing structure like all the males looked; the color scheme ranged from cool colors like navy and grey/silver to a chocolate brown/gold. Steve's outfit was mainly navy and silver, but there were also traces of red, like his cape, which was blue on the inside. Clint had the color scheme of his costume, his cape a darker shade of purple than Darcy's had been. Tony had a red cape with golden and brown armor, much to his delight. Bruce felt awkward in his clothes, but was relieved that his cape wasn't a brown color.

Natasha was the last to appear with the ladies. Unlike Jane and Darcy, she appeared to have take on more of the warrior look, like Lady Sif of the Warriors Three. But her skirt was long and elegant, like theirs, gracing the floor, and her cape was black.

"Cap, you're drooling," Clint muttered to him smugly, and Steve snapped out of it.

"Do I look okay?" Natasha asked.

"Honey, we're the ones who helped you; of course you look hot," said Darcy with a roll of her eyes.

"Cute," said Tony, clicking his tongue.

_"Beautiful_," Steve corrected out loud, much to his chagrin, but Natasha shot a little smile in his direction.

"Every male present will turn heads at the mere sight of you, Lady Natasha," said Thor. "Come! Let us dine!"

.

Meeting Sif and the Warriors Three was less nerve-racking than they thought it would be. Fandral was quick to break the ice and flirted with Natasha, which wasn't much of a surprise since Thor playfully warned Natasha beforehand, and Tony automatically warmed up to him. Volstagg gave them all bone-crushing hugs, and Clint and Steve decided they liked him best. Hogun and Bruce, being the quiet ones in their teams, stuck together. And Thor was pleasantly surprised when he noticed Sif and Natasha connecting at the get-go, with them and Jane and Darcy already conversing amongst each other in the dining hall.

"So what's her story?" said Clint very bluntly, pointing across the table at Sif, who was telling Natasha about which weapons should be appropriate to use in any situation in the realm.

"Don't you know anything? That's Sif. She's got the hots for Thor," said Tony, biting into a yeast roll.

"This is true," said Volstagg, patting his belly. "I can attest to that."

Thor hummed and sighed, drinking his beverage.

"Dude, she's hot! What happened?" Clint said.

"I am in love with Lady Jane," said Thor, confused. "And I am very happy to have Lady Sif as a dear friend, despite what she feels. I am not completely oblivious; I do find it flattering."

"Uh, haven't you heard of a wife and a mistress?" said Tony. "Don't you do that here?"

"I _wish_," said Fandral, winking at a group of women who passed by, causing them to erupt in a giggling fit.

"Don't start," said Bruce, and Hogun just shook his head in silent agreement.

"So, Captain!" said Volstagg, patting Steve on the back.

"Yes, sir," Steve chuckled.

"Thor has told me of the comradeship that you two share."

"Oh yeah?" Volstagg chuckled with him. "Well, I can't say I deny it. Thor's one of my closest friends."

"Aye, aye," Thor raised his glass to him.

Tony put a hand over his heart. "_Hurtful_!"

"Yeah, I thought_ I_ was your best friend!" said Clint.

"No, he's not, he's _mine_," Tony argued.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"_Mine_," said Natasha, taking the yeast roll out of Clint's hand before he could eat it, plopping it in her own mouth.

"Hey!" Clint called after her, and Natasha just playfully winked, walking back to her seat.

"_Oh_," said Tony, now smiling at Steve. "Guess you heard that. Since when are you and Natalie BFF's?"

Steve blushed. "Um...u-uh..."

"My word! He is as red as our finest apples!" exclaimed Volstagg. "Lord Steven, you didn't tell us that you harbor feelings for Lady Nat-"

"Shh!" Steve shushed them. "And I do _not_."

"Yeah you do," said Clint.

"No I don't."

"He so has the hots for her," said Tony to Fandral, who nodded eagerly.

"You can tell us; we won't utter a word!" said Volstagg.

"Speak for yourself," said Fandral with a smirk.

Steve didn't like the look in Fandral's eyes. And Tony and Thor were only making it worse with their growing smiles.

Meanwhile Clint, being the nosy bird he was, decided to get up and stretch his legs. Maybe if he knew this place better, he would be able to find spots for his nests. But since he didn't want to get lost, he just decided to explore more of the dining hall. Everything was so lavish and breakable looking. Stark would probably destroy it in two minutes if he got drunk.

Oh for the love of-please don't let him get drunk-

Noticing that a party was missing from Nat's little group, he cast a quick look around and found who he was-not-looking for, standing outside and looking at the horizon. Shrugging to himself, he navigated to his destination, silent as a mouse.

.

"Pretty."

Sif turned her head at the unfamiliar voice. _Ah_, she thought. _One of Thor's human friends_. If he made any more, would Asgard soon be crawing with Midgardians? She wasn't opposed to it, but she hadn't been exactly prepared for this either. What was so intriguing about Midgard and its people anyway? Thor and his mate were inseparable, and she really didn't like the way Loki and Jane's mortal friend looked at each other; for the human's sake, who could possibly be so daft? Sif realized how protective she was becoming over the two mundane women. Growing up she never had female companions. It was alien for her to have these feelings towards them. Was she starting to care?

"Aye," she said to him. "From one's perspective, 'tis alluring."

"Well that too, but I was talking about you," he said back nonchalantly, leaning against one of the columns and keeping his distance, crossing his arms. Good. This human was smart.

Sif arched a perfectly arched black eyebrow. "And who might you be, mortal?"

"Clint Barton," he said.

"The Eye of Hawks," Sif spoke with realization. "Thor has spoke of you."

"Good things I hope."

"Precisely." Though there was a twinkle in her dark eyes that he caught, bringing a grin to his face. "Have you heard of me?"

"Oh yeah. Lady Sif, sans the Warriors Three. I know about the whole shebang."

"You knew not my identity moments prior, when you were conversing with your mortal friends and Thor and Volstagg."

Clint's eyes widened. _Shit. She heard. Stupid god super-hearing_.

"Pardon me for asking, but I heard you refer to me as 'hot'," Sif continued, putting up air quotes. "This word...I hope it's not derogatory."

"Oh no!" Clint panicked, wondering how fast it would take for Sif to kill him in a hundred different ways. "Not at all! On Earth it means that you're, uh..._exquisite_."

"Hm. Very well." Sif placed her hands behind her back, now turning to go back inside. Clint's eyes followed her, noticing her pause to look over her shoulder at him. "I thank you, Lord Clinton."

Clint's cheeks went hot.

"So did you see that?" Tony commented from his hiding spot. "Tell me I'm not the only one who saw that."

"This is so wrong..." Steve mumbled.

"Aye, my good friend," said Fandral. "I have seen with my very eyes."

"You know what we're gonna do?" Tony smirked.

"_We're_ doing nothing!" Steve exclaimed.

* * *

**Hoped you guys likeeeed :] **


	2. Day 2

**Thanks for the lovee :] Here's Day 2!**

* * *

"Careful, friend," Thor cautioned Tony the following morning. "Asgardian mead is very strong. Take small portions at a time if you are planning to..."

Steve and Clint had been the last to arrive for breakfast, finding their old and new friends already situated at the grand table. Before they all went to bed last night, they had met the mighty Odin, who was intimidating, but also appearing weakened as well. He took a great liking to Steve though, but on the other hand, who wouldn't?

Steve caught Natasha's eye; the redhead was sitting with Sif already, and there were two empty seats on either side of the two women. Natasha beckoned Steve over to sit in the spare spot next to her, which he complied eagerly. Clint didn't have a problem with this, because he was already taking the other seat next to Sif.

Tony was the first to notice the happy-school-girl behavior of the two men, Thor mildly noticing as well, and Bruce lightly hummed, deciding to say nothing. Their Asgardian friends had been oblivious to the display, mouths stuffed with food.

"Don't even," Bruce said when Tony started to open his mouth.

"You're lucky my phone doesn't get reception here," Tony grumbled. "I miss Jarvis. Ol' buddy...ol' pal." His lips quivered, eyes tearing up.

"Is Lord Anthony really romantically attached to this Jarvis person?" said Volstagg, making Hogun and Bruce snort in their meal, fighting back laughter.

"Jarvis is a..." Thor struggled for the right term to use.

"An Al, thank you very much," Tony snapped. "Kinda like an imaginary friend with a voice. Does stuff," he told Volstagg. "Keyword: FRIEND."

Volstagg chuckled. "I see."

"You're later than usual," Natasha noted as Steve sat down next to her.

"Time here differs than it does in your Realm," said Sif. "That is possibly why."

"Speaking of Realms, you should definitely come to ours sometime," said Clint, stealing a grape from the vine off Sif's plate. Natasha and Steve exchanged glances, Natasha looking like she was trying not to scoff and snort.

"I have come to Midgard previously," Sif corrected him.

"For more than a day?"

Sif stayed firm. "I haven't time."

"Uh huh."

"You doubt me, mortal?"

"..."

"..."

"...Um, Steve, why don't you and I just-?" Natasha said, gesturing quickly for her and Steve to get up, which he caught on immediately; their team noticed the two leave the table rather quickly, fingers laced together.

"They were right to run," said Fandral, eyeing one of his oldest friends, her gaze quickly turning deadly to the mundane that sat with her.

"She's not gonna hurt him, right?" said Bruce.

"It's likely but no," said Hogun. "Lady Sif is not easy to anger, but then again..."

"There are certain things that, as you Midgardians would say, 'set her off'," said Fandral, Volstagg and Thor nodding in silent agreement.

Sif suddenly stood up, effortlessly tossing the entire table over, causing the Avengers (except Thor) to jump; Steve and Natasha peered around the column they were hiding behind, Steve's chin grazing the top of Natasha's head. Clint was quick to his feet and, actually, _following_ her.

"I think we're going to need a new table..." said Bruce, keeping his calm.

"Nonsense!" Thor looked over his shoulder. "Brother, I know you're there. Reveal yourself. No more illusions!"

Sighing, Loki appeared, morphing out of nowhere-and with Darcy at his side.

"You always treated me like I was your little pet that does things for you," Loki said coolly, approaching the table.

"Aw, c'mon, don't be a sour puss," said Darcy, patting his arm.

Rolling his eyes, he addressed the other prince in a sickeningly sweet tone, "Brother dearest, what do you require me to do? How may I assist you?"

Thor smiled warmly back, unfazed. "Repair the table, if you don't mind. If you wish I can go inform a servant and we'll..."

"Lady Sif took her unbridled anger out on inanimate objects again?" Loki interrupted knowingly.

"Indeed."

Loki sighed, taking a moment to channel his magic. Then, with outstretched hands, he took the two pieces of the table that had been split in half, and molded them together into one.

"Thank you," Thor said truthfully.

Loki slightly bowed, then turned on his heel; Darcy clung onto his arm, not after stealing a hot yeast roll first, and they exited the dining hall.

"That was...nice?" Tony said awkwardly.

"I think Lady Darcy has made quite the impression on him," said Fandral. "Wouldn't blame him. Darcy, well...she's...-"

"Hey now," Tony and Jane said at the same time.

"That's my little sister you're talking about," Tony added, feeling a brotherly protectiveness over the taser loving woman.

"Amen," said Jane with narrowed eyes. "You stay _away_ from Darcy."

"You lack trust in me yet you let her go off with _him_?" Fandral protested.

.

"Okay, what did I say? What's up your butt this morning?" Clint went on, easily keeping pace with the goddess. "Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Haven't gotten any lately? That time of the month? Do goddesses even get those?"

Sif sighed heavily through her nose.

Clint grinned. "Am I annoying you?"

"Thoroughly."

"Tense much?"

"May_be_."

"Want me to rub that pretty neck?"

Sif whirled with a battle cry, sword out and now pointing at Clint; the tip grazed his throat, and he stopped in his tracks, holding his hands up cautiously.

"Don't_ pester_ me, mundane. I _will_ slit your throat with no remorse," she warned darkly.

"Whoa, okay, and I thought we were just getting to know each other," said Clint, not liking the way the metal scratched his throat when he swallowed. Sif's grip on the blade tightened, her foot taking her a step forward and closer to him. "Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry." Even though he didn't know what he said to make her mad. He will never understand women. "I was wrong," he continued, eyes darting around. If she did decide to try to kill him, the odds of him getting away safely by climbing up something is roughly a one in a million. But he did notice other Asgardians, as well as his teammates out of the corner of his eye look at him with concern and worry, stop to watch. "Now, honey, people are starting to watch," he gently teased to lighten the mood.

If looks could kill, Clint would be in a pool of his own blood, with her sword plunged down his throat. Easing out of her fighting stance, she abruptly turned, black hair like the night swinging around and hitting her face, and sheathed her weapon.

"Lady Sif, Lord Clinton!" Thor boomed as he walked over, the others not far behind. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine, Thor," said Sif. And with one last dark look in Clint's direction, she walked away.

"You're lucky I didn't have my bow," Clint grumbled under his breath.

Sif had heard.

Freezing in her footing, she turned sharply yet again, this time flinging the sword in Clint's direction.

"HIT THE DECK!" Tony yelped, and Clint was the last to duck, barely dodging his death. The sword stuck in the column by his head, and he looked at it with frightened, bewildered eyes.

Sif walked back over in return, yanking the sword out of the column.

"Did you _mumble_ something, mundane?" she hissed.

"Yeah, I was just s-saying, um...what nice hair you have?" Clint said lamely. "It's like a black waterfall. Heh."


End file.
